For those of you who want to see a real NBA star (one who does not disappear for the first 3.5 quarters only to have two or three decent shots with five minutes left in the game to almost bring them back so the media and general public has something to see on Sports Center so they can say “LeBron just needs more help!”) Dwyane Wade will be appearing on Deal or No Deal tonight.

It’s a shame he was playing with only two functional limbs thoughout a good part of the season, otherwise this episode of Deal could be sandwiched in between back-to-back home Heat wins in the finals.
I highly recommend tonight’s episode of Deal, regardless of your opinion of Wade (but if you refuse to watch because you hate Wade, you are a boner). If for no other reason, the “case girls” will be wearing really hot Miami Heat jerseys.

Not as hot as Erin Andrews, though!

This one is a new brainer.

Okay, just kidding, it was his wife.

John Daily told reporters that his wife tried to stab him with a steak knife while he was sleeping. Ummm, John, she just TRIED to cut you? I may not be a criminalistics expert, but it would appear from your face that she was pretty successful in her attempts.

What’s truly spectacular about this story is that not only did Daily show up to play in the tournament, he also managed to show off his fashion sense by finding a hat with flames to match his cut up face. Bravo Johnny, bravo!

Could it be?

Yeah, I said it. Unless LeBron calls Dwyane Wade for some advice A.S.A.P., this thing is over felluhs. Cavs fans can thank LeBron for single handedly losing Game 1 of the finals. Maybe he’s not as good as everyone thinks (and hopes).

1. He’s only 22 years old, so he’s only to get better. WRONG! Look, LeBron is a freak of nature, and he is the first to admit that he is blessed to have the body he has. What makes LeBron such a dominant factor is his speed and stength. When you watch LeBron truly take over a game, it’s all about beating his defender with a quick first step, and getting to the hoop for a jam or layup. This is a product of his youth. LeBron is only going to slow down as he gets older. Whereas MJ was in his prime in his mid-to-late 20’s, LeBron is in his prime now (and for the next couple years).
2. LeBron has Nobody Around Him. WRONG! I’m not going to force the argument that LeBron is surrounded by great talent, but they aren’t as bad as everyone makes them out to be. Taking this year’s playoffs, for instance, LeBron has had one great game. Daniel Gibson single handedly won Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals, while LeBron racked up meaningless stats as he often does in the fourth quarter. Similarly, LeBron’s team kept him in over half the Eastern Conference Series’ game while LeBron struggled in the first three quarters. In Game 1 of the Finals, the rest of the Cavs did everything they could to keep Cleveland in the game. They had the lead halfway thru the second quarter, no thanks to anything LeBron did. Plus, 90% of the teams in the NBA would gladly take Ilgauskas as their big man.

LeBron is simply going to need to bring more to the table if he wants to live up to the hype. The fact that he is 22 years old is irrelevant. He has four years of professional experience, and he is as big and strong as anyone in the league.

As we learned in Game 1 of the Finals, if you take away LeBron’s chance of getting to the hoop, you take LeBron out of the game. As previously mentioned, when LeBron takes over games, its when he gets to the basket for an easy dunk (with a three pointer usually sprinkled in there). Guys like D-Wade, Kobe, and MJ don’t have the benefit of LeBron’s size and strength, so they have to resort to jumpers.

I’m not saying LeBron isn’t a good player, but I believe if he’s going to get all the credit when the Cavs win, he has to take the blame when they lose (especially when he single handedly lost Game 1 of the Finals. If he does <em>anything </em>in this game, the Cavs hang around and win. Like I said, if LeBron doesn’t call D-Wade immediately for some advice, it’s <strong>over!</strong>

Here’s a novel idea, let me pay $10,000 to get my ass kicked. For those of you unaware of Kimbo Slice, he is large black man who does not back down from any fighting challenger. All you have to do is put up the cash (he tries to get people to bet $10,000 but reports say the amount is often lower) and show up to a sketchy backyard or boatyard. You then show up, get your face pummled within 2-4 minutes, and spend the rest of your life in embarassment knowing that millions of people watching are going to watch the video of your face splattering weekly.

Kimbo is a bodyguard for an Internet porn company.
He hails from Miami, FL (woot woot!).
Enjoy some of Kimbo’s awesome fight videos:

This is my personal favorite. Check out how he lets the other get 4 or 5 free shots at him, and he doesn’t even budge.

What was this guy thinking?

Now that you’ve gotten your testosterone through the roof, check out how hot Erin Andrews is.

The following is a list of things I would do to get five minutes with Erin Andrews:
1. Stand in a portolet barefoot for 10 minutes.
2. Poor a beer into Rosie O’Donnell’s ass through a funnel, drain it into a cup, and drink it, all just minutes after she had diarrhea without whiping.
3. Get gangbanged by 5 very large prisoners for 24 hours.
4. Watch a regular season NHL game.
5. Eat an olive (ew).
6. Gouge out my left eye.
7. Poor a Zima into Rosie O’Donnell’s ass through a funnel, drain it into a cup, and drink it, all just minutes after she had diarrhea without whiping.
8. Stick my right hand into a meat shredder, then use the remains to eat medium rare cheeseburgers (and I <strong>hate </strong>medium rare cheeseburgers).
9. Get my face pounded in by Kimbo Slice.
10. Invent a time machine, go back in time, and convince my mom to abort me (Okay, too far).

Good. It couldn’t happen to a bigger asshole. By the way, I have a great Schilling article coming next week, so be sure to check back.
Anyways, check out how Hot Erin Andrews Is.

Everybody has his or her pet peeves. I have many. One of them that has been really bugging me lately is when a catcher sets his glove up for the pitch in a different location than where the pitch actually goes, and ends up out of the ballpark. Then you have the egotastic play-by-play guy freeze frame moments before the dinger, whip out his pen, and start writing all over your television screen, all while attempting to impress the listening audience into thinking this sort of expertise is why he got his job.
If I were a sportscaster, I would do the opposite of this. Instead of pointing out when a pitcher threw a ball in a location different from where the catcher desired, I would wait for a home run that occurred after the pitcher threw it at his glove and berate the living hell out of him. Similarly, if the catcher had his glove low and outside but the pitcher goes high and tide, you better believe I’m praising that thrower to Heaven!
I just don’t get why announcers do this. Like the catcher <em>knows </em>this is where the pitcher has to put it. The facts that this occurrence happens about once a week leads me to believe the catcher is generally wrong.
Anyways, sorry for this meaningless rambling, I’ve just been so frustrated and needed to rant to somebody. To make up for it, the beautiful Erin Andrews.