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Please God, Give Me Just Five Minutes with Erin Andrews

June 8th, 2007 // bstew //

The following is a list of things I would do to get five minutes with Erin Andrews:
1. Stand in a portolet barefoot for 10 minutes.
2. Poor a beer into Rosie O’Donnell’s ass through a funnel, drain it into a cup, and drink it, all just minutes after she had diarrhea without whiping.
3. Get gangbanged by 5 very large prisoners for 24 hours.
4. Watch a regular season NHL game.
5. Eat an olive (ew).
6. Gouge out my left eye.
7. Poor a Zima into Rosie O’Donnell’s ass through a funnel, drain it into a cup, and drink it, all just minutes after she had diarrhea without whiping.
8. Stick my right hand into a meat shredder, then use the remains to eat medium rare cheeseburgers (and I <strong>hate </strong>medium rare cheeseburgers).
9. Get my face pounded in by Kimbo Slice.
10. Invent a time machine, go back in time, and convince my mom to abort me (Okay, too far).

2 Responses to “Please God, Give Me Just Five Minutes with Erin Andrews”

  1. Ballsiest.com - Funny Sports Blog, Sports News Blog, Sports Information Blog, All Sports! » Curt Schilling Blow-Blows His No-No Says:
    June 8th, 2007 at 7:28 am

    […] Please God, Give Me Just Five Minutes with Erin Andrews […]

  2. Ballsiest.com - Funny Sports Blog, Sports News Blog, Sports Information Blog, All Sports! » Dwyane Wade to Appear on Deal or No Deal Tonight Says:
    June 13th, 2007 at 11:07 am

    […] If for no other reason, the “case girls” will be wearing really hot Miami Heat jerseys. Not as hot as Erin Andrews, though!Not as hot as Erin Andrews, […]

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