Apparently, Mario Manningham has forgotten that Michigan sucks this season, so after the final knee to seal a victory against a very overrated Penn State team, he decided to bust out ‘the worm.’

Give me a degree, Bobby!
No, no! Give me one!

I can’t even explain how much I love when teams other than the University of Miami get into any sort of trouble, and lately, there’s been a plethora of it.

Earlier this week, Ohio State’s third string QB was nabbed for trying to pick up a hooker, the University of Texas can fill a solid wing at San Quentin with as much trouble as they’ve been in this season, and the list goes on.

The news report today is that the Florida State University Semenholes have academic sanctions of new proportions; 23 student-athletes are the subject of a new allegation involving “academic dishonesty.” I’ll let that one soak in… twenty-frickin-three!

There hasn’t been an official word as to which sports these athletes play, but I think it’s fair to assume that the majority of thema re on the football team.

Blurb:

Two football players, fifth-year wide receiver Joslin Shaw and sophomore defensive end Kevin McNeil, are involved in the investigation. Neither Shaw, a Plant City High product, or McNeil, who is from Kingsland, Ga., have played in FSU’s first three games because of what Coach Bobby Bowden called a violation of team rules.

I can some this up in three words: They Are F*cked.

In case your bulimic ass hasn’t fingered your throat yet today, enjoy this disgusting video of some nice bone breakage in a women’s MMA fight. Ew.

Sorry to follow up the first installment of morning wood with this, one of the scariest photographs I have ever seen in my life. (That, coming from me, who used to be Rotten.com frequent flyer, says a helluva lot).

The United States, amidst team-management controversy, fell to Brazil 4-0, in what I think is the women’s World Cup.

This photo makes me wonder when it was actually snapped. At what point could this Brazilian soccer player have shown this much excitement? I’d think the first goal would’ve brought the most joy, but not the type of joy that pops veins out of arms and necks, because there’s still a lot of ball to kicked left. After the game? No way. In a blowout such as this, victory should’ve been in sight since the score was 3-0, so there’s no way someone can turn on the enthusiasm right after the referee arbitrarily decides the game should be over.

Did anyone watch this? How can this chick be so effing excited? Doesn’t she realize it’s just soccer, not to mention women’s soccer. Whatever, now I don’t have to post about this sport for another two years.

So, I’m starting a new addition to this site called ‘Morning Wood.’ I’m going to try to find the hottest broads I can on a daily basis (hopefully related to sports), so all of you can keep your chubby well into lunch. Enjoy!

The Yankees have done the thinkable; they have clinched a spot in the playoffs. Normally, here is where I would make the simple prediction that the Yankees will fall apart and get bounced out of the playoffs quicker than Jeter gave Jessica Alba herpes. But watch out this season… If there is anyone to fear in the MLB playoffs, it’s the hot team.

So, if anyone sees what happens in October, please let me know, because I’ll be busy watching football, and when football isn’t being played during the week, I’ll be busy thinking about it.

This is some pretty sick dribbling by 19 year old Memphis Grizzly Michael Conley, Jr. I guess if the NBA doesn’t work out, there’s always the Harlem Globe Trotters…

I have to get this off my chest, because it’s really been driving me insane lately. If you’re someone who just can’t get enough of Dancing with the Stars, and love watching Mark Cuban prance around on stage like how I imagine Mike Tyson would if he were the tooth fairy, don’t plan on seeing any coverage of the show on Ballsiest, aside from this post, unless someone either dies on it or has a really, really, really good fall. Falls, no matter the context, are always welcomed on Ballsiest.

DeAngelo Hall has been fined $100,000 by the NFL after three penalties on ONE DRIVE Sunday, which cost the Falcon 67 yard.

It’s been a pretty frustrating career for Hall. Just type in his name on Google Images, and it’s riddled with pictures of him being burned by T.O., on the ground while T.O. breaks off into a celebration, and my favorite, T.O. donkey punching him. Check it out, you’ll love it.

Disclaimer: If you are absolutely opposed to reading about something non-sports related, please skip this post. This story was just too good for me not to share.

In case you’re a Tom Cruise apologist who ignores all his antics that lead normal people like myself to label him "a fucking nut", here’s another example for you; it’s being reported that Tom Cruise is building a $10 million underground bunker under his Colorado-based mansion.

Blurb:

A source close to the Mission Impossible star says the hide-away based at his Colorado mansion in Telluride, is ‘a self-contained underground system where up to 10 people can survive for years.’ The bunker will be installed with ‘a state of the art air purification system’ and has storage space for survival equipment and years worth of supplies. According to internet sources, Scientologist believe the evil deposed galactic ruler ‘Xenu’ is planning an imminent revenge attack on earth.”

This decision, unfortunately, only has two outcomes:

1. Everytime a loud noise occurs in Colorado, like a car backfiring or a moose having flatulence, Tom and family will scatter into the bunker, and all of America will point and laugh at photos of them coming out of it hours later, after nothing has occurred. Or

2. Iran blows the hell out of the United States, Tom and family are the only ones who remain unscathed, but no one is around to applaud Tom’s brilliance.

It’s a lose-lose.