The day weed is legalized in this country, Vincent Mehdizadeh instantly becomes the richest man in the United States. Vincent is the man behind the Pot Vending Machine, a vending machine that - you guessed it - dispenses pot to happy stoner customers. Apparently, the going rate is $40 for and 1/8 ounce and $80 for a 1/4 ounce.

Blurb:

A man who said he has been authorized to use medical marijuana as part of his anger management therapy said the vending machine’s security measures would at least protect against illicit use of the drug.

I’m guessing the quality is shit. I’m not a drug user, but I’m an avid beer consumer. I love the thought of beer vending machines. ::lightbulb::

This is one of the better videos I have seen in a long time. I don’t think I’ve gotten this angry since my last dry vagina spell. There’s no other explanation for Mr. Berman’s tirade other than lack of beav.

Emmitt Smith can give Miss Teen South Carolina a run for her money. This reminds me, how is Michael Irvin not on ESPN anymore? I asked this question a few months ago, and Tommy O delivered. From my jarred memory, apparently he was “let go” after alluding to Tony Romo’s quickness deriving from the fact that he must’ve had some slaves in his ancestry, or something like that. Anyways, here’s a video Emmitt hurting my head.

Taking rent-a-cop security very seriously.

So you’re probably coming to Ballsiest today thinking “this looks and feels different”. Here’s the deal: basically, I got sick of the look of the old Ballsiest and tired of writing solely about sports, so I’ve decided to make a few changes around here. Instead of just sticking to sports, I’m going to write about a wide array of things that will certainly entertain even the dryest personalities. I’m going to be updating three times more than I used to, and New Ballsiest is going to put Old Ballsiest to shame.

And if you’re wondering about the tame design… Well, I think I created enough of an eye sore with the neon orange on black that we all had to deal with for the past six months, so this one should relax your brain for the time being. I’ll be adding a logo and making a few other adjustments in the upcoming days.

As for today, I’m pulling an all nighter, so this explanation of the new design will remain on the top of Ballsiest all day, but come Friday, I’m on it full force.

If you’re anything like me, you probably want to gouge your eyeballs out anytime one of those Wendy’s commercials featuring guys with red pigtails comes on. For one thing, they don’t make much sense. For another, when you finally do realize where they are trying to go with it, you realize the concept is lame and that someone high up must’ve been blackmailed to agree to the campaign.

Wendy’s has pulled the plug on that disaster, mainly citing that burgers just aren’t selling well throughout the campaign’s life. Smart move. I actually do base my purchasing habits on companies marketing campaigns in situations where the commercials annoy the piss out of me. For instance, back in the day, I was a four time per week Quizno’s eater, but after a few months of those annoying Furbys singing in high pitched voices, I decided to boycott the sandwich store. I kid you not, from the moment I took my last bite, I never saw another commercial again.

Anyways, good riddance to the Wendy’s commercials. They won’t be missed. But for old time’s sake, here it is, one final time (ugh):

I’ve always loved it when people get super pumped up and serious about a sport that doesn’t matter. And by “sport that doesn’t matter”, I mean any sport that isn’t successful in the United States.

It looks like someone’s older cousin just taught him a bad word in English… tisk tisk.

Both Restaurants in a Taiwan village display hairless rat carcasses in their kitchen windows before chopping off the heads and throwing the pint-sized bodies and tails into pots.

Both restaurants are full at meal times as the rat race for gnawing customers reaches fever pitch.

“Most people who come in here at first have a psychological barrier, but once they take a bite, they don’t mind.”

The rats grow up on crops from fields surrounding the village of Lucao in Chiayi county - which means they are not dirty rats from sewers.

All joking aside, I’m going to vomit. This is just fucking disgusting.

Will New York baseball ever top spending? The Mets are especially a joke. At least with the Yankees, we actually believe there is a chance they can make it to the World Series, so we always root against them. But with the Mets, it’s never even an option. And that’s even more of a joke because the NL has been butt awful for the most part in the past decade. However, the Mets will continue to get over-the-hill vets for their final contract, they will have no incentive to play hard with the guaranteed money coming their way, and the Mets will continue to be a joke.

I’m not saying that Santana is going to be bad, but the thought that paying $130 million to one guy and expecting THAT to bring you a World Series is laughable. Sure, teams can buy World Series. Regardless of what you think, the Red Sox have purchased two of them. Their payroll isn’t at Yankees standards, but those guys pay for more big named guys than anyone. The difference between the Sox and the Mets? The Sox can actually identify talent that is still rising and can still give you a few year (Mike Lowell), while putting them in a winning atmosphere. The Mets go for people’s names we recognize, like Tom Glavine, who are on the decline and have no incentive or motivation to compete at the highest levels.

All I think is that the Sox and Yanks passed on this guy for a reason, and we’ll probably learn the Mets made another bonehead signing in due time.

He should’ve requested a beej before answering.