Have a great weekend, everyone. I’m not sure if I’ll be updating this weekend. I’ll be attending loads of college basketball and college baseball games and doing a lot of beating off. But if something is too good to pass up on posting, I’ll throw it up here. So, uhhh, check back. Later.

There’s a chance I would let Bartolo Colon take a dump on my face if it meant I could be the soccer ball below for 60 seconds.

Wow. Vince’s reaction really couldn’t have been better. People used to always joke that Ricky Henderson couldn’t name half the players on his teams, but this is like 11 guys that Vince has to remember. I’m pretty sure if there were 11 other guys running around the court with me, and one of them happened to be a guy I’d never seen before, I may notice. But I suppose if I didn’t give a shit about anything, things may be different.

Bravo, Vince, you’re a super teammate.

At some point yesterday, Packers.com slipped up and posted a story saying Bretty Favre had announced his retirement. Some guy I’ve never heard of who is affiliated with the Packers came out and said it is not true, and this is basically a template the organization has made every season, in case he does retire.

My take:

Brett Favre announced his retirement, but since it didn’t come out on his own terms, he said "fuck you all" and decided to come back, that which he will do until 2020.

How nice is it to have the kind of power that Favre has? He can literally dictate any decisions made in Green Bay, no matter how bad he plays. He has more power than the governor of Wisconsin (assuming that governors actually had any power, in the first place). His life is a life I would like to live, minus the pill addiction and shitty luck with family members.

Now you can have $1 beer, bowling, and hot dog night at home. A company is setting up custom bowling alleys in homes, like the one pictured above, for $88,000. At first glance, I kinda liked the idea, but after thinking about it, not having a pimply teenager come to the rescue when the scoring malfunctions, or a pin isn’t coming down would really suck. On the plus side, I imagine telling a chick you have a bowling alley in your home will make for guaranteed vagina; not because bowling alleys are that awesome, but because you are that kind of baller (which none of us are).

This video is, eh. Guy on left, who is standing uncomfortably too close to guy on right, makes sexual innuendos at guy on right. This is reminiscent of the Close Talker, from Seinfeld, played by the guy who was in those Beverly Hills Cop movies.

F*cking brilliant! I think we’ve all been suffering from Soulja Boy fatigue, but the Filipino prisoner gang has given the song promise again. Okay, well, not really, but this video still owns.