I never thought this day would come. For many years, I suffered through Saturdays with Trev Alberts and Sundays with Sean Salisbury. I longed for these two "matter of factly" subborn ass clowns would be taken off the air. First Alberts got the boot, and now Salisbury has followed. This is the greatest sports feeling I’ve had since Super Bowl 42.

PS Does anyone know where I can find the cell phone pics of Salisbury’s weiner online? It would be such a better pic than the one above…

According to MediaTakeOut, Mike Vick was getting some heat from inmates, and now he’s paying for protection.

Blub:

The insider explained, “Michael Vick is not in [administrative segregation] - he’s right there with the rest of the inmates. A few [inmates] stepped to him when he first got there but everything is cool now … My [family member] says that he’s paying a Mexican gang to keep him safe.”

I think if I were in prison, and I needed some back, I would go straight for the Mexicans as well. They are some crazy mofos. I mean, it’s hard to pass up whitebreds with swastikas tattooed on their eyelids, but there’s something about Mexicans that just bug me out.

Honestly, though, I am ashamedly excited for the media circus that will ensue Vick’s release from prison. I just can’t wait to see him in a Raiders uni.

The link to this video was sent to me a few days ago, but I lost it and forgot to search for it again. It’s a commercial for Bud Light that was supposed to appear during the Super Bowl, but the NFL said no-go. I’m a huge fart humor guy. I think this was done fairly well, but it seems like they could’ve done more. You be the judge.

What do you do if the football team you have coached the past four years has gone 0-40 under your tenure? Ask for a raise, dammit!

Blurb:

The TORONTO STAR has the story on Steve Howlett, head coach for the University of Toronto Varsity Blues. And Howlett has seen nothing but the blues, as he has yet to taste victory during his five years on the U of T sidelines.

Despite this, Steve could be named a senior athletic instruction by the university’s board. Apparently, it’s general procedure for Canadian university employees - including winless football coaches - to be reviewed every five years. We’re not sure what exactly the new job would entail, but we do know it means more money.

Canada sounds like the dream employees market. 0-40?! How is that possible? I would think the sheer lack of talent throughout Canada would lead to everyone with .500 records. This poor guy must not even have enough guys for an entire team on the field at one time. Good for him, though.

Thanks: SbB.

Creepy… Whomever created this robot clearly had the wrong target audience in mind. A ball massager–I could see those flying off the shelves, but females can get their boobs massaged anytime, any place, so I really don’t know how marketable this product is.

What is Nike thinking with these shoes? Not only do they cost 185 bones, they might be the most hideous sneakers I have ever seen. If I see anyone ever wearing these blinged out kicks, I’m taking a chain saw to their ankles.

Masturbation is a great thing. You can see a girl you have never met nor will you ever meet, don’t know her name, yet imagine what her nipples look like and have a 10 minute fling in your mind with her, much like I’m about to.

Hehehehe.

There’s something about minor league coaches at any level that really gets me going. This guy doesn’t disappoint.

Sweeeeeeeeeeeet.