“Did you just throw something at my child molester van?!” God, today has been a slow fucking Monday. Sorry, it’s not my fault.
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What an epic draft class! Two guys name Long at the top of the draft, and two running backs named “Yes” and “No”. Good job ESPN. Fucking idiots.
I just saw a story on this new drug, called Salvia, that is hugely popular in the teen scene. What’s awesome about this drug if your a teen? It’s PERFECTLY LEGAL and SUPER CHEAP. Believing this stuff will soon be made illegal, kids are stocking up. For more information, type in “Salvia” on Youtube for some hilarious, but sad, videos of kids trippin’ on Salvia.
I don’t know who Mindy McReady is, but I’m hearing she is a country music star that Roger Clemens allegedly starting porking when she was just 15 years old and he was 28. I’m not one of those people who thinks Clemens should be prosecuted for perjury and spend any time in prison for it, for many valid reasons, but how hilarious would it be if a district attorney had such a hardon for busting Clemens that he correlates this affair with Roger Clemens injected his wife with HGH in attempts of “accidentally” killing her. Anyways, here’s a summary of the story:
Clemens was with his Red Sox teammates in a Fort Myers, Fla., bar when then-teenager McCready caught his eye. After Clemens threw a shirt with his and several teammates’ signatures onstage, an introduction was made. “It was love at first sight, no doubt about it,” said a source with intimate knowledge of the relationship.
According to the source, McCready did not learn that Clemens was married to Debbie Clemens until McCready attended a baseball game with her two younger brothers and read Clemens’ bio in the program. The source says that McCready was too young to be angered by the news that Clemens was taken. […]
The two were known to take lavish trips to Las Vegas and New York… During another Big Apple excursion, the two holed up in the trendy SoHo Grand and later partied with Monica Lewinsky and Michael Jordan. McCready, according to a source, even bummed a cigar off His Airness to give to Clemens. There were personal love missives to Clemens hidden in McCready’s album liner notes.
I am a huge fan of the Knocked Up crew, but please, guys, keep a higher ratio of those guys in your future movies. Jason Segal was great in Knocked Up, mainly because he was in it for about 15% of the movie. From said crew, we got to also see Jonah Hill and Paul Rudd in this film. I can’t even begin to explain how poorly utilized these two were. Normally, Hill can steal the show for five minutes, while Rudd can be subtly hilarious. Here, though, they were given one moderately funny assignment and told to repeat during the entire movie. Yawn.
Thankfully, the two chicks in the movie (Kristen Bell and Mila Kunis) were banging hot.
Don’t bother seeing this flick. Essentially, the Knocked Up crew is being allowed to get their writings produced. Superbad (Seth Rogen) was pretty good. Forgetting Sarah Marshall (Jason Segal) was not. Do yourself a favor and wait until this one comes out on DVD for a mildly entertaining time.
How this type of racing doesn’t lead to at least one decapitation per week is beyond me.
I always feel strange when I go an entire weekend day without posting on Ballsiest. This evening, I’ve attempted to post a story three times, and every single time I logon to post, I get the biggest sensation to shit that I’ve ever had. I guess this means tonight’s Viatnamese food will be my first and last ever. But I just don’t get it… Normally Asian food totally gives me the runs, what with all the spices, etc. But tonight’s dish had literally no spices nor flavor, but it’s had me doing squats on my toilet seat all night. Anyways, I don’t even remember what I originally wanted to post, and being as someone just sent me a link to this video, here’s what you get:
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