Here’s the latest drug runner toy from Europe. This thing can reportedly scream across the English Channel at 60 knots with a full load of fuel and…whatever. The story goes that the British Coast Guard was so astonished by the speed of the unknown boat when picked up on radar that they brought in a special high-speed helicopter to chase it. We’re told that the craft was designed with low profile and painted black to make it difficult to spot on the water. Allegedly drugs were found on board when they caught it.

No, it is not a field goal. It is just a kick. If you ever refer to this kick as a field goal, die.

Fake, but awesome nonetheless.

“They’re not BOOing, they’re saying MOOOOvers.”

Sheriff Joe Arpaio, of Arizona, has taken away Shaq’s ability to act like a douche bag and arrest people.

“I want his two badges back,” Arpaio told The Associated Press on Tuesday. “Because if any one of my deputies did something like this, they’re fired. I don’t condone this type of racial conduct.” […]

Arpaio, who describes himself as “America’s Toughest Sheriff” and is best known for feeding jail inmates green bologna, clothing them in pink underwear, and making them work on chain gangs, said he didn’t expect his actions would teach Shaq a lesson.

Yes, Yes, Maybe, No, No, No, Maybe, Yes, Maybe, No

Ummm, correct me if I’m wrong… but didn’t Shaq go to the Suns, while the Suns were in first place in the West, only to finish the season in sixth? And didn’t they perform the worst in this season’s post season than any other in recent memory? Maybe I was just dreaming. Sorry, Shaq, but without D. Wade, you don’t have another ring either.

“He said Shaq gave a bitch a mill? I don’t do that, because my name’s Shaquille.” Brilliant.

Don’t bother watching after the first splat. Nothing else happens. I wasted two minutes of my life. But the first 45 seconds, or so, are well worth it.

Wow, something cool actually occurred in a game of soccer, for once.