Let’s keep this one simple. Man orders beer coffin. Man uses beer coffin for cooler. The end.
… I prefer booze over weed.
Call me what you will, but there’s little I like more than a guy who gets drafted super high, holds out like a fucking prick, only to see his career spiral down the toilet. Cedric Benson was that guy a few years ago, and JaMarcus Russell will be the next (after the Raiders pick Mike Vick up next year). Over the weekend, Benson was busted for being hammered while driving a boat, and get pepper sprayed while resisting arrest. How they did not video tape this is beyond me… Damn.
Blurb:
According to the LCRA [Lower Colorado River Authority], an officer asked Benson, owner-operator of the boat, to do a “float” sobriety test. Detainees may be asked to follow an object with their eyes, do the alphabet and count down with their fingers. An officer said Benson failed. Authorities wanted to bring Benson ashore for more tests, the LCRA said.
Benson refused to put on a life jacket — a requirement on LCRA boats — and “presented himself as a threat to the officer and argued about whether or not he would be taken to land,” authorities said. The officer arrested Benson, who kept arguing and “continued to present himself as a threat,” the LCRA said. The officer then pepper-sprayed him.
Benson tells a much different story: “Even after they pepper-sprayed me, I have no idea why they did that. I was cooperative. I asked them several times why they did that, and they didn’t give me an answer.”
This morning, I was sent a story by a friend of a chick who was arrested for streaking. On the perils of losing my morning wood, the juice started flowing again. “A streaking chick, who is also an athlete?! She must be hot!” Then, I clicked the story, only to find out the streaker, in fact, had a penis, and was not a chick. So yeah, the captain of a hockey team that you’ve never heard of was arrested and booked for streaking, with bail set at $10,000. I feel extremely gay.
I just saw a story on this new drug, called Salvia, that is hugely popular in the teen scene. What’s awesome about this drug if your a teen? It’s PERFECTLY LEGAL and SUPER CHEAP. Believing this stuff will soon be made illegal, kids are stocking up. For more information, type in “Salvia” on Youtube for some hilarious, but sad, videos of kids trippin’ on Salvia.
You can’t spell ‘riot’ without ‘Montreal’. Last night, Montreal came back in their series against Boston to own them in game 7, 5-0, prompting those crazy Canucks to burn stuff. Here’s the vid:
A drunk Russian man rode home on a bus, slept like a log and ate breakfast before his wife alerted him to a 15cm knife in his back.
Yury Lyalin, 53, had been drinking the night before the grisly discovery, when his colleague — who had also been drinking — stabbed him during an argument at work.
In a further bizarre element of the event, Mr Lyalin said he felt no resentment towards his knife-wielding colleague.
“We were drinking and what doesn’t happen when you’re drunk?” he said.
It doesn’t get anymore hardcore than that.
