Here’s the latest drug runner toy from Europe. This thing can reportedly scream across the English Channel at 60 knots with a full load of fuel and…whatever. The story goes that the British Coast Guard was so astonished by the speed of the unknown boat when picked up on radar that they brought in a special high-speed helicopter to chase it. We’re told that the craft was designed with low profile and painted black to make it difficult to spot on the water. Allegedly drugs were found on board when they caught it.

Wow, these are actually real?

Built into the knees are a pair of crotch rocking speakers, around the back you have the added convenience of a back pocket for your “mouse”, and for you gamers, there is a joystick controller located just behind the front zipper.

Want some sound career voice? Drop everything right now to become a testicle doctor, for all the people who will be developing testicular cancer within the next 25 years.

Your ride has nothing on this sweet ass Corolla, which has an old school Nintendo controller as its engine block. Okay, the car sucks. Its a piece of shit, and the Nintendo controller is kind of lame. But thankfully these dorks give us something to laugh at…

Me neither. But for $75 bucks, you can own this. With this, you could literally copy an entire weeks worth of New York Times.

I’m hesitant to post on this, but apparently, there is a company out there coming out with a product that will allow you to turn your deceased pet into a floor mat. I. Shit. You. Not.

To me, any kind of fake dead fur on the ground is creepy, but to look down and see your little buddy for the last 15 years, and then to wipe your feet on him, what the fuck? I mean, granted, in the image below, the look on the dogs face seems like he’s more than happy to spend an eternity with his stomach split open and doing a never-ending belly flop, but I’m just not down with this idea…

When I first saw this invention, I thought “Holy shit! Sweet!” Then I realized that most people in wheel chairs don’t exactly have full functionality of their legs, making a wheel chair powered by bicycle pedals impossible. Oh well, it was worth a shot.

A few years ago, one of my friends, which I hesitate to admit, purchased one of those iDogs. Basically, it would a little oval piece of plastic that walked around, ignoring your commands that it is supposed to reply to.

Floating around the Internet this week is this robotic dog. This thing is amazing. You can kick its body, and it catches its balance to remain standing. It’s a little creepy, and I’m not sure what it can be used for, but if I had a buttload of money, I would be interested in picking one of these bad boys up.

No. Just a dork who “pimped out” his 2003 Subaru Outback to look like the car from the show.

Normally, here is where I post something about not getting laid or something, but this guy actually might be onto something. Here’s why:

The guy who owns this car has to be a total geek. Odds are that he’s never gotten laid in his life. So before this car, he was just a normal geek. Now, with this car, he has carved out a little vaginal niche for himself. Surely there are some girls out there who still have a weird obsession for the movie from the 1980’s. Once they see this car rolling down the block, instant wetness. Bravo, my man.