Normally, I appreciate products that are made for the sole purpose of manliness, but I have to draw the line with this. I’m absolutely down with bacon and syrup, and even bacon with a little bit of syrup on it from my pancakes, but lollipops purposely made like this? No, sorry. It’s just disgusting.

What’s dumb about this? Besides everything? It’s an actual product that is for sale on eBay.

What’s dumber about this? People are bidding on it. The current price is $335 and there are still five days left until the end of the auction.

Here’s an actual quote taken from the description:

If you’re like any normal person, you probably live in constant paranoia of the impending “Z” war: the zombie uprising. You wonder how you’ll survive… how you’ll make it out of your house so you can escape and live in the mountains. Although you can’t plan for every possible scenario, you can take a hint from the Zombie Survival Guide (not included) and prepare some defenses. A shotgun with 5 shells will be your ever-constant companion, hanging on the wall in your room or at your office. Keep it close at hand, and when the uprising occurs, you’ll be ready. Simply break the glass, take down the gun, load it up and rock out. And be sure to aim for the head.

People like this help guys like us get laid more, so I have no problem whatsoever with this.

Auction.

Someone sent me a link to this video, telling me this guy was homeless. After seeing him, I absolutely believed it. After doing some more research on him, prognosis negative. Anyways, he plays an acoustic guitar that has one string, and fucking rocks it! Enjoy:

Um, weird. I’m not the kind of guy who needs a new knife for every type of food; I’ve had the same knives for eight years shoved in my kitchen drawers. This gadget is just really, really strange.

Products like these make me wish I was friends with OJ, so I could give it to him for is b-day. How would he react? I think he’d have a sense of humor about, but I wouldn’t be absolutely surprised if he thanked me with a Columbian necktie.

Seriously?

Japanese people are really normal.

Wanna be the coolest pussy around? Then the jet engine mini van is for you! And if you do choose to do this to your car, please do us all a favor and stick your head inside one of the engines as your wife revs it up as hard as she can.

I live 10 minutes from one of the trendiest locations in the United States (South Beach), and I write to you now to vow to cut every persons hand off with these things around their wrists.

Now you can have $1 beer, bowling, and hot dog night at home. A company is setting up custom bowling alleys in homes, like the one pictured above, for $88,000. At first glance, I kinda liked the idea, but after thinking about it, not having a pimply teenager come to the rescue when the scoring malfunctions, or a pin isn’t coming down would really suck. On the plus side, I imagine telling a chick you have a bowling alley in your home will make for guaranteed vagina; not because bowling alleys are that awesome, but because you are that kind of baller (which none of us are).