Surprisingly, the bacon bra gave me a semi. I think it has more to do with imagining what is underneath the bacon than the actual bacon itself. Either way, I’d pound this chick, with or without the bacon.
When I first caught sight of this Nintendo sneaker (made by Nike), I balked at the idea of such a novelty shoe. As it turns out, this thing actually works! I don’t know how they did it, but they did. It’s a frickin’ shoe that you can wear, and also play Nintendo games on. Holy hell, I need one.
What is Nike thinking with these shoes? Not only do they cost 185 bones, they might be the most hideous sneakers I have ever seen. If I see anyone ever wearing these blinged out kicks, I’m taking a chain saw to their ankles.
Look out LeBron, pretty soon any of us beer-guzzling, nonathletic dirtballs will be giving you a run for your money. With these Z-coil spring shoes, I envision mandatory segmentations in the NBA, because of all of the talent flowing into the league within the next five years, with no room for everyone.
Actually, now that I think about it, there was a douche bag I went to high school with who wore shoes very similar to this, because he thought it would add a few inches to his game. I’ve had conversations about this kid with numerous people, and I’ve found that most of my friends too had one douche in their high schools who wore these shoes around.
And of course, there was Jimmy from Seinfeld, whom George had a major hardon for. But he was a bad ass in his shoes.
This is a great invention. It’s called the wine rack. It’s a bra that holds wine. Girls wear it to sports games, their nipples are hard the entire time, and their boyfriends get hammered. Brilliant.
For the first time ever, I can honestly say, we, as Americans, are far behind. If the Peruvians can turn Robocop into an army full of anti-riot police, why can’t we?
The government really needs to turn to Hollywood on some occasions. Since robotic-looking police or other types of defenders always have the advantage in Hollywood, it’s a no-brainer that if you increase the size of the units, they are unstoppable. But noooooo, now we have South American countries that any American on a McDonald’s salary could live like a king in, making us look like pussies.
Issues like these should be at the forefront of the next election.
I thought things would end with truck nuts (you know, the scrotums you often see dangling from pickup trucks’ trailer hitches, often driven by men with mustaches, barbecue stained t-shirts, and drenched with stripper VD), but I was wrong. Now you can purchase a hand to put on your trucks hitch.
Ummm, I guess I’ll post a link to this, although I know that no visitors to Ballsiest will ever make a purchase.
And to be honest, I’m not totally opposed to objects hanging or dangling behind a vehicle. I happen to laugh anytime I see an SUV with an arm or leg hanging from the trunk. It’s just that this idea is dumb.
