Well, folks, I am off to my final final exam, ever (that is, if you don’t count the BAR exam). Updates simply will not occur today, as I will be on a binge immediately following the exam. See ya tomorrow.

This guys friend tells him if he allows him to throw a Nerf football at him from 75 feet, and the guy does not move, he will buy him a case of beer. The rest is history.

75yd Nerf Vortex Toss Lands Direct Hit - Watch more free videos

The latest thing I remember from Michael Phelps camp is his DUI. Being that it came almost four years ago, it is clearly evident that I don’t follow swimming, or any Olympic event, for that matter. Here’s the new “latest thought” I can have of Phelps. I’d fuck it. Mermaids don’t have vaginae or wieners, so technically, this wouldn’t make me gay. I don’t think.

Word to your mother.

Former rap star Vanilla Ice, real name Robert Van Winkle, was arrested at his home after an alleged altercation with his wife.

Ice was booked by Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputies at 10:43 PM ET on a charge of domestic battery. Sources tell TMZ he got into an argument with his wife, Laura, and he pushed her.

Best reporter video ever? I think so…

Warning: this video is f-cking sick. It’s a girl who is missing an eye, putting in her replacement eye. Vomit. But interesting.

To whom to mail death threats to for send me this: Tommy O.

I imagine Kellen Winslow’s accident looked something like this. Guy gets new toy. Guy crashes toy immediately afterwards. Oops.

Duuuuuude, wow. The phallic machine you are looking at in the above picture is a supersonic jet that travels as high as 100,000 feet and goes up to 3,400 miles per hour. It seats 300 people and tickets are supposedly going to cost around $3,900.

Idunno… I kind of enjoyed the last coach flight I took when my seat was broken but the flamboyant steward tried to cheer me up by telling me that it was because "that famous basketball player"… "Hakeem Olajuwon" sat in it. Riiight.

So apparently this guy is famous from Desparate Housewives. I’ve never heard of him, but he looks familiar.

Blurb:

A source tells PEOPLE the puncher in the video is Mams Taylor, the boyfriend of actress Taryn manning. According to another source, Metcalfe told friends that he was jumped because he had been talking to Manning that night. No immediate word from manning’s boyfriend on the scuffle.

Here he is getting knocked out:

Yup.