As you may have noticed, Ballsiest has been incredibly slow for the past couple months. If you’re a Ballsiest faithful, you will know the reasoning behind this is that I am studying for the Florida Bar Examination. As of today (Tuesday, July 22), the Bar is exactly one week away, so I am in diarrhea mode. Therefore, for the next week (until, ohhhh, August 1) I will not be updating Ballsiest. Check back next week!
Today is one of two days of the year that none of the four major professional sports are in action, ever. Today is also the day that witnessed my taking of a simulated practice Multi-state Bar Exam, and got my ass kicked. My brain is mush, so I go drink beer. Byebye.
“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.” — George Carlin
Could today be a more boring sports day?! This is the worst time of the year, sports-wide. The NBA and NHL is over, and now we’re forced to pretend to follow and enjoy baseball until football season begins. Calling all athletes: can someone please get coked up and punch a hooker within the next hour, so that I have something to write about?
Thanks.
First of all, thank you for continuing to come back to Ballsiest, even though the updates have been relatively slow these past few weeks. For those of you who are new to the site, allow me to quickly explain.
Ballsiest was starting in the Summer of ‘07. I typically posted 6-8 updates per day. Three weeks ago, I graduated from law school at the University of Miami and began taking Bar review classes and studying for the Florida Bar Exam. This literally eats up 10 hours of my day. What free time I have, I have to divvy up between getting my major website projects launched and taking dumps. Therefore, the updates have been slow. This will continue until the last weekend of July. Please don’t let this deter you from coming back, though, because I am trying to update as much as possible, given my time constraints.
That said, since I have cut back on the updates, Ballsiest’s traffic has tremendously grown. I attribute this to one of two things. Either
1. Ballsiest sucks so bad that you are ecstatic of the lack of updates, and can’t get enough of them, or
2. For some reason, Google has really picked up the site and is displaying Ballsiest results much higher than in the past.
I won’t officially rule out reason 1, but after checking my web stats, it appears the latter is the more logical conclusion.
Anyways, I have to get back to work, but check back soon for some goodies.
As of yesterday, I am a graduate of the University of Miami School of Law. This means that starting today, my life officially sucks. Rather than giving us a couple days off between graduation and BAR classes, they threw our asses right into the fire this morning at 8 am. I’ll be in classes from 9 am until 4 pm just about everyday for the next 8 weeks, and studying the rest of the time. I’ll try and find some time here and there for some posts, but there won’t be nearly as many as in the past. But don’t expect the quality of Ballsiest to suffer. For the next couple months, I’ll only be posting that best of the best, and will be avoiding the filler bull shit that I typically have up. That said, I am exhausted so I am taking the rest of the day off. Check back tomorrow afternoon! And check this video out below. SICK!
Check out this monkey that lives at a zoo in Japan. I swear, he has the same exact body type of this guy who sat next to me at Dolphins games for 10 years of my childhood.
About 50 Macaca mulatta monkeys at Ohama park in Sakai, Osaka Prefecture have been so overfed by tourists they are now massively overweight.
A local report in April said that about 30 per cent of the animals are so huge they struggle to get around their 420-square-meter enclosure.
A healthy Macaca mulatta monkey weighs about 20lbs, but one of these chunkies is over 60 pounds.
…asshole.
Let’s recount my day:
- departure from Miami (9:00 am)
- while in transit:
- realized that the dumb lazy bitch who sold me my ticket marked that I was getting off one exit early, meaning I didn’t pay for the full trip to my destination. Made for a fun confrontation for a police officer, who was surprisingly accommodating.
- tried to fit and over-sized bicycle on an undersized train, only to piss off every patron within a 5 foot radius of me.
- guy berates Cubans to the entire Metro Rail (I’m half Cuban), then asks me for a quarter to “get him on his way”.
- three minutes later, guy forgets that I told him I don’t have a quarter and asks me again.
- hooker attempts to smoke a cigarette on train, only to be told there is no smoking allowed, only to ask where it says there is no smoking allowed, only to be pointed to the sign that says so, only to oblige.
- a group of three guys start circling my bicycle and nodding their heads.
Arrival in Fort Lauderdale (10:30 am)
For the way back, just repeat every single thing that happened on the way there, except the train was 90 minutes late, and instead of three guys circling my bike, it was two. Fuck public transportation. I’m exhausted. More updates not about me tomorrow.
