I saw this story on CNN the other day. This story seemed really cool when it first started, when this guy was going to dive into this 1 foot (or so) pool of water, until Guinness World Records shows up and makes him put the equivalent of a mattress under the pool. My grandmother could do this. Lame.

Nah, man, they’ve always been there, filling that stadium up since day 1.

No, it is not a field goal. It is just a kick. If you ever refer to this kick as a field goal, die.

Fake, but awesome nonetheless.

“They’re not BOOing, they’re saying MOOOOvers.”

Ummm, correct me if I’m wrong… but didn’t Shaq go to the Suns, while the Suns were in first place in the West, only to finish the season in sixth? And didn’t they perform the worst in this season’s post season than any other in recent memory? Maybe I was just dreaming. Sorry, Shaq, but without D. Wade, you don’t have another ring either.

“He said Shaq gave a bitch a mill? I don’t do that, because my name’s Shaquille.” Brilliant.

Don’t bother watching after the first splat. Nothing else happens. I wasted two minutes of my life. But the first 45 seconds, or so, are well worth it.

Wow, something cool actually occurred in a game of soccer, for once.

Wait, like REALLY?