As you may have noticed, Ballsiest has been incredibly slow for the past couple months. If you’re a Ballsiest faithful, you will know the reasoning behind this is that I am studying for the Florida Bar Examination. As of today (Tuesday, July 22), the Bar is exactly one week away, so I am in diarrhea mode. Therefore, for the next week (until, ohhhh, August 1) I will not be updating Ballsiest. Check back next week!
Today is one of two days of the year that none of the four major professional sports are in action, ever. Today is also the day that witnessed my taking of a simulated practice Multi-state Bar Exam, and got my ass kicked. My brain is mush, so I go drink beer. Byebye.
As a kid, I loved beauty pageants. I’m speaking of days before the Internet, when porn wasn’t easily available, and you had to have vivid imaginations so you could remember all hotties when you spanked it two hours later in your bedroom. Oh, that was just me? Well, then, anyways, for the second year in a row, Miss USA fell down at the Miss Universe competition, and for the second year in a row, I missed it. Damn.
I can’t be the only person nauseated at all the coverage of Josh Hamilton, can I? If Josh Hamilton has taught kids anything, it is:
1. Get good at baseball.
2. Self inflict harm on yourself by doing coke daily.
3. Stop doing coke daily.
4. Get good at baseball again.
5. Voila.
Realistically, you don’t even need to be that good of a baseball player; you just need to be pretty good, because relatively speaking, any production on the field by a recovering coke head is a tremendous accomplishment. Anyways, you’re welcome for the free advice. Good luck pulling it off.
Today was almost one of those non-posting days, as I just got my ass kicked by a practice Florida Bar Exam, and I am in the mood to do nothing but sleep, bone, or get hammered. That is, until I learned that Jaguar’s psuedo-WR, Matt Jones, was arrested in Arkansas for something related to drugs. Then, even better, I come online only to find out that ex-Gaytor, Teddy Dupay, has been arrested for allegedly beating and raping some chick. There’s only one thing I like more than athlete mug shots, and that is Florida Gaytor athlete mugshots. And honestly, could it have happened to anyone funnier than Teddy Dupay, notorious for gambling allegations in college? No. I love it.
